When you come into a single moms life you are walking into someone's life who is damaged in some which way if not many. Someone who is enduring two peoples work daily, sometimes with or without help. When you walk in you are a glimpse of hope. You are potentially a saving grace in 2, 3 maybe even 4 people's eyes - not just 1.
I don't think that people appreciate what it takes to take on someone else's child or children and know that someone gave up on this family because things got hard. You don't play around with a single parent, you're either in or you're out. The trial period is brief.
For us,
He walked into a family knowing things aren't perfect from the get go and that his responsibilities start now. He didn't have to you know... But he did. Even after experiencing just a piece of what he was in for, he stayed. He could of left but he chose to pick up the pieces, work through the insecurities and emotions that I had let sit and sink in further and further without addressing them. He chooses every day to parent a child that is someone else's DNA while being there for his own. He puts up with my dejavu of experiencing these same situations again and reminds me that this time it's different and that he's here and never going anywhere. He is on call 24/7.
Now don't get me wrong, before he came I worked hard to find myself, build a secure, strong, independent woman. Be confident in my body and try to maintain while working 10-12 hour days, come home and be the mom my son needed. Provide for my child with minimal help. I cried myself to sleep more times then I could count. I know some people have it harder. But I had to accept that I would never have the "picture perfect family". I would - if I found the right person have indeed a broken family that I would be making whole but that my son may never call him "dad", that I would have to explain why dad lives so far away one day. But as a single parent getting into a new relationship you are going back to trying to work next to someone, it's definitely an adjustment. You are teaching them your everyday routine, what you and your child (children) need, their sensitivity level, how to communicate, what "pu pet show" (Paw Patrol) means, and are trying to understand how hard this is on both of you. When you find the right person who is willing to learn all of this and much much more, Who has the level of patience required to do all of this and more you won't ever stop putting the work in because the sense of appreciation and amount of love you feel for someone who did, does and will continue to do this is unbelievable.
Single mommas do not settle. Don't go for someone who you would have in high school, go for the nice guy. The guy who does the little things, who you know is ready. Don't get caught up in age.. I learnt that age doesn't tell you who's "mature" or "ready". Go for the guy who doesn't give up, who jumps through every hoop and hoops you didn't even set up and has proven he's capable and his worth. Make sure he's got both feet in it, and that he's going above and beyond for you guys. And remember they only have to be your idea of perfect, no one else's.
Whenever you're feeling lower than low, KNOW that it's leading you to where you're supposed to be, and ultimately it will be perfect❤️
